SECRETS TO MARRIAGE

Scott Haltzman, author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Men," says that men can succeed in marriage by treating it like a job. Halzman, a psychiatrist and professor at Brown University, believes that men need a different approach than conventional therapy, because... men and women are different. Here are his eight "Secrets" of Happily Married Men:

1. Make Marriage Your Job -- Men do have tools: their work skills and habits. These can be applied to marriage with the right "job description."
2. Know Your Wife -- Do your research. Observe how she behaves and interacts in various situations, and keep a record. You may just discover the person you married.
3. Be Home Now -- "To build a lasting marriage, you have to be there, in person, day by day, Mr. Regular, at home, in the building -- and that's that." The payoff includes everything from love, support and peace of mind to sexual satisfaction and intimacy.
4. Expect Conflict & Deal With It -- Guys are inclined to dig in and fight to the death, but with a few tips like "softening your tone," Haltzman suggests you can stop this instinct in its tracks.
5. Learn to Listen -- Listening may not be instinctual, can be learned, to great benefit.
6. Aim to Please -- "In the workplace men are masters of relationship-building. So... bring that skill home! The most important people in your life are not at the office.
7. Understand the Truth About Sex -- This may come as a surprise, but men and women are different! Halzman uses a car transmission metaphor -- basically, learn to operate the gears.
8. Introduce yourself -- Time to let her know "this is who I am; this is what I need.